*sigh* I’m just gonna say it. Keeping it classy feels like a crime these days.
Before I begin, let me give a disclaimer: I’m willing to entertain the idea that I may just be middle-aged cranky and intolerant of the new social norms. I’m a woman of a certain age and genuinely make a concerted effort to maintain positive vibes and live the best life possible. Yet despite my efforts to summon high vibrations, now and then I look across the rugged landscape of American pop culture and ask out loud, “What in the actual $*#! is going on? ” Hear me out.
I fully understand that there’s an audience for everything. And if your style is more Jerry Springer than Oprah, that’s your right. But there must be balance.
Far too often, the spotlight is given to the most “ratchet,” ignorant, crass behavior – whatever brings in the clicks and views – talent and intellect be damned. The more raunchy and outlandish the behavior, the better. And any open criticism of it will have you all but indicted as a bougie and out-of-touch. It’s getting weird out here.
What’s Beef? (If It’s Not Public?)
Remember when you had an issue with someone, you’d pull them aside and talk face-to-face? Me, too. Now, every issue (real or perceived) has to play out on social media for the world to weigh in. From celebrities to influencers to everyday people it’s become normal to engage in public back-and-forths, going post-for-post trading insults (often with total strangers) for…what? Clicks and likes? *Aretha Franklin voice* Ain’t no way.
Language and the Curious Case of Declining Decorum
Language is a powerful tool, but baby the art of eloquence is fading faster than MJ’s melanin in the 80s. It used to be understood that there’s a time, place, and space for certain conversations and rhetoric. Today, people are way too comfortable speaking about anything to others in any manner they feel, often defending inaccurate and unfounded viewpoints. Communication is increasingly less about intelligently making your point and respectfully hearing opposing views. How you deliver your message and in front of whom, doesn’t appear to be as important as being the loudest and delivering the snarkiest comeback. (To be loud, crass AND wrong is…tragic).
Civility costs nothing, and buys everything. – Mary Wortley Montagu
Exhibitionism Over Privacy
Social media has blurred the lines between public and private life and plunged us into the age of oversharing. From intimate details of relationships (👋🏾 Reesa Teesa) to detailed confessions of past transgressions, nothing is off-limits anymore. Again, it’s anyone’s right to share what they want, but there’s so much the public doesn’t need to know – and even more we don’t need to see. Oversharing is so common, that those who don’t are often perceived as “standoffish” or insincere. However, some still believe in preserving a little sense of mystery and discretion. Some still believe areas of your life have to be just for you.
The Bottom Line
There is no singular way to be and we all move about this world in our way – as is our right. But those that receive the most attention can’t all be ex-strippers, mumble rappers and “real housewives.” (No shade). While the world may seem to glorify the loudest voices and the flashiest displays, it’s equally important to respect (and recognize) those who still believe how we choose to show up in the world matters. Whatever your style, ratchet or righteous, I hope more of us choose to prioritize kindness over controversy, articulate expression over shorthand, and discretion over oversharing. It may not be cool or popular, but if keeping it classy is wrong I don’t wanna be right. 💋
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