Scene: You are in a winning season. Everything is clicking and your midlife glow-up is something serious! You’ve had your share of rough times and feel blessed to be in a good place. But something’s off. Your close friend or loved one is giving off…vibes. Are they…jealous? *whisper* The call is coming from inside the house.
Yes, even those closest to us – friends, family, and partners – can sometimes envy our achievements, possessions, or the person we’ve become. It’s tough, it’s awkward, it can be disappointing, but it’s real. When jealousy rears its ugly head in a relationship, recognize the signs, decide how you’ll manage it, and come to a conclusion about how to move forward.
Recognizing the Signs of Jealousy
Jealousy isn’t always obvious. It can sneak in like a silent storm that has been brewing over time. When it hits you’re sometimes left feeling confused and a little hurt. Even if you didn’t pick up on it at first, if you think about it the signs were always there:
Passive-Aggressive Comments
If they’re making snide remarks (“must be nice”) or backhanded compliments about your success, it’s a red flag.
Lack of Support
They can’t be bothered to cheer for your wins or worse, they’re dismissive of your achievements.
Distance
Those calls and check-ins have become few and far between and they seem to be pulling away. When you do connect, they avoid conversations about your progress or cut the conversation short at the first mention of any of your good news.
Competition
They’re constantly trying to one-up you or turn everything into a competition.
Undermining Your Confidence
Receiving honest feedback is always welcome. But when they subtly (or not so subtly) try to make you doubt your abilities or downplay your accomplishments, there’s likely some jealousy at play.
The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. – William Penn
Having the Conversation
Okay, so you’ve spotted the signs and you have a legitimate case of jealousy. Now what? If you’re dealing with a repeat offender, or someone on their last strike, cut them off like a past-due light bill and move on with your life. If you care, and I’m sure you do because we’re talking about people in your inner circle, you’ll have to put in a little effort to find a solution. Dealing with jealousy in relationships requires empathy, communication, and sometimes, tough decisions. Here’s how to handle it:
Open the Lines of Communication
Start with an open, honest conversation. Acknowledge their feelings without making them feel attacked. You might say something like, “I’ve noticed you seem distant lately and things seem a little off between us. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”
Set Boundaries
Let them know what behavior is unacceptable and that you value your relationship but won’t tolerate the constant negativity. Healthy boundaries are not about shutting people out but about protecting your well-being.
Offer Support and Reassurance
Sometimes jealousy stems from insecurity. Reassure them of their value in your life and offer your support. Encourage them to pursue their own goals and passions. Remind them that your growth doesn’t diminish their worth.
Focus on Mutual Growth
Talk about how you can both support each other in your personal journeys. Finding ways to grow together can strengthen your bond.
Make an Informed Decision
Finally, you may need to make a tough call. If the jealousy persists despite your best efforts, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship. Ask yourself:
- Is this relationship causing more harm than good?
- Do I feel supported and valued by this person?
- Is there a pattern of negative behavior that’s unlikely to change?
Sometimes, the healthiest choice is to distance yourself from a relationship that has become toxic.
Stay Positive and Keep Growing
Personal growth is a life-long journey. You deserve to be surrounded by people who celebrate that. Stay positive, keep growing, and surround yourself with those who uplift and support you. Here’s to healthy, supportive relationships that celebrate each other’s successes. 🥂 Until next time, stay sucker-free!
—
Have a question or collaboration request? Get in touch.