Some of the biggest lies we tell are to ourselves.
In a world full of more information than any of us could ever process in a lifetime, far too many have skipped Self-Awareness 101. Look, I know we’re all just trying to get through life with our edges and dignity intact, but when we learn better, we have an obligation to do better. See, Midlife Mafiosos like us are a special breed. We’re older, wiser, more confident, and a lot clearer about what (and who) works for us. But if you’re not careful, you might also be getting a little… stuck. Set in your ways. Telling yourself things that aren’t exactly true, all in the name of “self-care” or “protecting your energy.”
Friend, I’m about to hold your hand while I walk you through this. I can’t cover every self-deception we entertain, but here are three of the biggest lies we tell ourselves that prevent us from better relationships, deeper self-awareness, and a truly fulfilling life.
Lie #1: “I’m Protecting My Peace.”
If I had a dollar for every time I heard this phrase, I’d be sipping champagne on a private yacht in Santorini.
To be clear, I am all for protecting your peace. Boundaries are necessary. But sometimes, what we call “protecting our peace” is really just avoiding accountability. If you’re cutting people off left and right, ghosting friends over minor infractions, or dismissing any conversation that challenges your perspective, you’re not so much protecting your peace as you are dodging self-reflection.
Yes, relationships should be reciprocal and fulfilling. But if your peace requires complete isolation from anyone who doesn’t cater to your every whim, sis… you might be the problem.
Lie #2: “People Are Just Jealous of Me.”
*sigh* When did it become a thing to believe that every other person in our orbit is secretly plotting against us?
Yes, envy exists. But not every side-eye is fueled by jealousy. Sometimes, people pull away because you lead with your accomplishments instead of your authenticity. If every conversation turns into a highlight reel of your latest wins, people might not be jealous—baby, they might just be exhausted.
When the urge to allege that someone’s dislike is rooted in their envy of you, take a moment to check yourself. Are you giving off an air of arrogance? Self-centeredness? Are you engaging in meaningful conversations or just showcasing your accolades? The energy you bring into a room matters, and quite possibly, the jealousy you allege is you being extra (and unable to read the room).
Lie #3: “It’s Too Late for Me To…”
Now, this one? This one irks me the most because it’s the most dangerous lie of all.
I don’t care what your unrealized dream is—it is NOT too late. Yes, you may have to adjust your expectations. If you’re 45 and dreaming of being a prima ballerina at the Royal Ballet, that ship may have sailed. But does that mean you can’t immerse yourself in dance? Of course not. You could start a ballet class for adults, open a dance academy, or start a blog reviewing performances. You can still get close enough to your passion to find fulfillment. Life isn’t a straight path, and reinvention is part of the journey. The only thing stopping you is you.
The Bottom Line
The lies we tell ourselves may provide temporary comfort but cause long-term damage. Growth requires self-awareness, and the tea is, sometimes we are the common denominator in our own struggles. So before you claim you’re “protecting your peace” or accuse someone of being jealous, take a second look. Is it really them… or is there something in you that needs to shift? The sooner you get real with yourself, the sooner you’ll attract the love, friendships, and opportunities you truly deserve.
Have you told yourself one of these lies? Or do you have another one to add? Drop a comment—I want to hear it! (And don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter for Mafioso-only content).
–
Have a question or collaboration request? Get in touch.